薩提爾的親子對話:每個孩子,都是我們的孩子:從實戰經驗淬鍊超強親子對話(附超擬真實作練習)

30 種失控情境 x 3個對話工具 x 3道安全卡榫 x 3不1要, 超擬真實作練習,讓你三言兩語,扭轉親子、手足間的情緒困境。

11.11 超級購書節

版本 Edition: 平裝書 Paperback
Price:
Sale priceHK$80.11 Regular priceHK$127.00
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In stock - dispatch in 3 working days
Product Info
Chinese Age Adult - Adult
平裝書 Paperback 272 pages 14.8 x 21.0 x 1.4 cm
Approx. weight: 0.6 kg
Publication date: 02 Jun,2023
Barcode: 4713510943694 遠見天下

More books in Chinese for Age Adult - Adult

Description

作者: 李儀婷 


       想要對孩子表達關心之意,一開口孩子就發脾氣;
  想迅速解決孩子的爭端,但自身情緒卻讓孩子像爆米花炸開……
  為什麼孩子分秒都在挑戰父母極限?
 
  核對彼此觀點、聚焦問題核心,和孩子好好說話。
 
  ➢先讓問題跑一會兒
  ‧與戰火保持距離,先平穩內在,別讓情緒影響你應對的姿態
  ‧孩子情緒仍沸騰時,只需陪伴,不必急於進場對話
  ‧尋找對話破口,貼近孩子的心,才能展開有效對話
 
  ➢以薩提爾模式展開對話
  ‧寧靜而專注的傾聽,讓孩子有被注意、被尊重,甚至被接納的感覺
  ‧以好奇探索衝突,核對孩子真正的意思,讓問題聚焦
  ‧結束對話時,誠摯欣賞孩子的努力,把負向行為轉為正向價值
 
  ➢拋棄對話慣性
  ‧不要以高壓語言介入戰火
  ‧不要以上對下、過來人的姿態對話
  ‧不要以自己的價值判斷回應,忽略孩子的深層需求
  
  ➢應對的姿態
  ‧良好的溝通,始於父母平穩的內在
  ‧直拳教養,讓孩子變成情緒怪獸;蹲下來,看看孩子目光裡隱藏的故事
  ‧情緒升起時,不急著應對,柔軟的語言,能帶來深層的反省與覺察
  ‧你可以有期待,但允許期待落空,並學著接納失落
  ‧在日常裡埋下愛的訊息,讓自己成為孩子最溫柔的牽絆
 
  ☆以薩提爾模式開啟的親子對話☆
  溝通出現障礙時,試著挪動孩子的感受位置,將對話導向一個有接納有體諒的過程,才是有效溝通。
 
  ◆有氣喘病史的老大三三咳得嚴重,要求媽媽坐著抱她睡。沒多久,妹妹川川趨前,也來討抱。
  媽媽:「姊姊生病不舒服,我抱著她,讓她睡一會兒。」
  川川眼眶泛紅:「媽媽不愛我了,我也想要抱抱!」
  媽媽:「我很愛你,但現在姊姊咳嗽很嚴重,所以媽媽得抱著她睡……」
  川川:「媽媽,我也不舒服,咳咳(假咳),我也要抱抱。」……
 
  ◆當溝通陷入僵局,試試看,要在下列對話中填入什麼句子,才能讓各據一方的親子對話匯流,有效溝通?
  媽媽:「川川有看到姊姊生病了嗎?」
  川川:「有。」 
  媽媽:「川川覺得姊姊是很舒服還是很不舒服?」 
  川川:「我覺得姊姊很不舒服。」 
  媽媽:「_________________________________________」 
  川川:「好啊!要怎麼幫姊姊?」
  媽媽:「_________________________________________」 
  川川認真思考了一會後說:「媽媽抱姊姊沒問題,我可以幫忙。媽媽,你抱完姊姊,也可以抱抱我嗎?我也想要你抱抱!」
  (詳見本書p.135)
 
作者

李儀婷
  
小說家,親子教養作家。
 
  現任「新店炫心星自學團」閱讀課專業教師,「走電人電影公司」影像總監與親子教養與溝通專業講師。
 
  是台灣六年級最具史詩敘述魅力的小說家。著有小說集《流動的郵局》、情慾小說《10個男人11個壞》、名人傳記《生命的眼睛》、電影劇本《風雨中的郵路》、少年小說《卡里布彎.數學獵人》、少年小說《九份地底有條龍》,以及紀錄片「一閃一閃亮晶晶」副導、音樂舞台劇《媽祖不見了》總監製、小小說書人《九份地底有條龍》戲劇總監。
 
  養育三個可愛的孩子,分別是三三、川川、一一。從親子關係的衝突中,體察教養的重要,於是從文學創作走向親子教養,學習薩提爾模式導入家庭關係中,開啟家庭和諧的契機。
 
  薩提爾模式的學習,師承資深治療師成蒂,以及台灣薩提爾模式的推手李崇建。
  
  多年來融合多方學習和自身教養孩子的經驗,於台灣、新加坡、馬來西亞開辦親子教養與溝通工作坊,受到各地父母的信賴與推崇,亦應邀到台灣各級學校巡迴演講,帶領數百場家長及教師研習,以薩提爾模式處理親子溝通與人際溝通。致力推廣「聽核心」對話新精神,協助父母與教師重返孩子身邊。
 
  著有教養書《孩子永遠是對的》。創辦「共融教養」平台,提倡「每個孩子,都是我們的孩子」。
 

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